I like to pretend I fear very little. I’m not scared of heights or small spaces. I can handle flying and water and darkness. I can pretend that snakes and horror films don’t bother me. But I do have a rather public list of irrational fears. Some of the fears are ordinary, some are impossible, and some are just plain embarrassing. So here they are, in no particular order.
- Ceiling fans
- Tape measures
- Someone closing a car door for me and getting one of my limbs caught and having it fall off
- A baby kicking out of a mother’s stomach
Yep. Those are my fears. In black and white. I know some of them are really dumb, but… whoops?
But anyway, I did bring this up for a reason. I’ve been doing some soul searching as of recently, specifically during my hiatus. Bloggers are supposed to be super into Twitter, right? I’m supposed to be scrolling through my feed constantly, reading author tweets and responding to fellow book bloggers and being cyberly social. I should be tweeting about how obsessed I am with Twitter.
The thing is, I’m not. I hate Twitter. I hate it with a burning passion. I see that little icon, their cute little Twitter logo, and I cringe. I “read” my feed by seeing how far and fast I can scroll on one swipe. I have a widget on my phone’s home screen that’s *supposed* to help me care about Twitter, but I have yet to set it up. It’s bordering on pathetic, my inability to care about it.
Then I connected something. This may be far-fetched. This may be a laughable excuse. This may be downright wrong. But here goes…
Refer back to my second fear. Birds.
Click the next tab over, where I know you have Twitter opened. What’s that little blue icon? Oh? A bird.
Bam! Mystery solved.
Oh but Erin, why do you hate birds so much? Good question. I have no idea. I had not traumatizing situation relating to birds, I’ve never seen any movies to harbor my hatred of them. I just came to the realization that their are two things that make my skin crawl: fluttering and scuttling. Birds flutter. Cockroaches scuttle. End of discussion, they’re going on my list.
So in some weird connect-the-dots shape, I’ve come to the conclusion that I physically cannot like Twitter because of my pathological fear of birds. I apologize to the blogesphere in general, and I will work to curb my fear of both the app and the creature. But I make no promises.